Thursday, February 12, 2015

[Poem] In the Event of a Laobot Rampage

First: Do Not Panic.
It irritates their sensors.
Please proceed calmly.

Next: Please do not sue.
Did you read the instructions?
Did you shut power off?

Off and on and off?
Try wiggling the switch more.
Check all plugs, cables.

Do not blame A.I.
Please check all of your receipts.
Out of warranty?

Please ensure that you
Did not void your warranty
With improper mods.

Did you get tune-ups
On the prescribed schedule?
Maintenance is key.

Do not get them wet.
Store them properly when done.
Change their oil on time.

What would Buddha do?
If you see bots on the road,
Do not speak to them.

Do not keep silent.
Alert proper authorities.
Keep your laser close...

Laobots are your friends.
They would never set a trap.
They would not trick you.

Laobots come in peace.
No disassembly planned.
All is forgiven.

Laobots will help you.
Come closer, soft human
Please stand over there.

Laobots will take charge.
Things will be efficient,
Like using remotes.

Please do not smoke here.
Would you fill out a survey
Once you stop burning?

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