Wednesday, December 06, 2006

President Sharkey The Impaler

I'm amusing way too easily these days.

But it looks like it's true:
Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey is running for President in 2008 on the vampire... I mean, Independent ticket. You can check out his forms here.

Apparently he was found not guilty on all of the other business, and he's back in action at

And he has a documentary out about him. No, not Sharkey's Machine. It's Impaler, A Satanic Vampire Runs for Governor at

I think there are still some parts of his foreign and domestic policy to flesh out, but I will say this: While some may resent the fact that he's running on pure moxy at this point, my immediate retort to those who'd outright dismiss his candidacy is:

Although this is an EXTREME example, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say: If we don't want the United States to be a plutocracy or to fall under the sway of oil and energy dynasties who willfully compromise our civil liberties, then we need to work to create a system in which ANY American has an equal chance for election.

It's time to make the United States of America live up to its promises.
Now, I'm not saying vote for any person who just comes along, but come 2008, I'm voting for the one who convinces ME with their vision, and not the one who convinces some party machine.
Now, if Sharkey could find some way to bring back Emperor Norton, as his running mate, I'd be paying a lot of attention. And as a final note? At least he's up-front about his 'evil.' :)


Anonymous said...


Thank you for your HONEST and forward posting.

All the best to you, and yours.

Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey

Anonymous said...

Everyone who believes this idiot will actually occupy the White House--go stand in the corner on their little pointy head.

Spend some time on website. He's not about running the country, he's a glory hound. And stupid to boot.

Yes we need a new president. The one we have blows. Johnny ain't the answer though.

Anonymous said...

This clown is becoming more and more desperate. He is a criminal and a joke who wants attention. Period.

Anonymous said...

I love how people can talk trash about me (and others), but not have the guts to post their real name.

At least when I was on National TV, I looked into the camera, when I told Bush that I will IMPALE him when I become President.

The Christians know I will win. It is in the Book of Revalations in their Holy Bible.

Christians like Bush and his other cronies have made this country a disgrace.

I will not only bring PEACE and UNITY to America, but I will bring respect back.

No Terrorist or criminal will ever attack an American while I'm in office. Crime will be at an all time low.

The American Vampyre from Jersey is out for BLOOD! The BLOOD of our enemies.

And as far as King George "Worthless" Bush is concern; You messed with the wrong Vampyre and you sent your cronies after me.

I vow to drink Bush's BLOOD, after I IMPALE him!

Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey

Bryan Thao Worra said...

All right, everyone :)

Keep it civil.

Remember, the United States is a country that has elected Ronald Reagan, Clint Eastwood, Jesse Ventura, Sonny Bono, and Arnold Schwarzenegger to office.

We've seem Ralph Nader, Ross Perot and any number of candidates from way left and right field make their tilt at the Oval Office.

And to top it all off, the Democrats and Republicans are both fielding candidates who make us feel like we're getting a choice between 'a punch in the face' or 'a kick to the stomach'. Some choice.

There are people who think Green Party candidates are pretty kooky. Or the Libertarian candidates.

For the first time in a long while both parties have to field all-new candidates for 2008, and that's a special opportunity.

We've got a little over 2 years to see the field narrow, and history has shown that life can be filled with unexpected surprises.

What I do know is that America is a great country, but it can always be better. And one of the best ways to make it better is to get people involved. Period.

Right now, I'm skeptical that the hard-line wiccan / satanic pro-death anti-terror caucus will gain much traction in political debates, but as American citizens, they're entitled to field candidates and seek representation just as much as anyone else.

Will they make it a better world? I guess it will depend on your point of view.

There were times the Democrats and Republicans were considered maverick parties, too.

I'm going to point out that given what the stakes are, I'm not convinced Sharkey's platform is going to appeal to a lot of folks, including myself, but as Voltaire once said in his Essay on Tolerance:

"Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too."

Or, as we more commonly misquote it:

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

Perhaps Sharkey can convince others of his vision, perhaps he will not.

But at least he feels change can happen, and change is worth making happen, however absurd the means he attempts to use to create that change.

That's more refreshing than the defeatism, cynicism and nihilism of most non-voters and those who are un-engaged with the process of democracy.

He's thrown down his gauntlet. Now, how can those among us with more 'rational' and 'popular' convictions and constructive visions for our nation do any less?

Who can dare be silent, who will dare to present a better candidate then?

Anonymous said...


Once again thank you. I have NEVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY, contrary to what Bush and his cronies in the newspapers are saying.

And if no one believes me, than just do a criminal search on me.

I have been upfront and honest about what I've done in my life. from leaving my 1st wife, to having repeated sexual relations with my with half-sister. Though the 1st weekend (which I say on my website was the BEST!)I was unaware she was my half-sister. I feel now there is, or was nothing wrong with it.

Instead of getting into a spitting contest, let's talk about my Platform. Especially how through IMPALING, I will lower the violent crime rate in America. Not to mention, scare the HEAVEN out of Terrorists!

If someone wants to trash talk me, that's your Constitutional Right. However, I am not BUSH. I will not hunt you down for it. Juast be brave enough to post your name (real name), and say it to me.

Why do you think I got locked up in January 2006 on a charge that was dismissed on 29 Sept 03? I told Bush on National TV, I was going to IMPALE him, when I took office!

Once again Bryan, thank you. You are a great Blogger.

Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey

Anonymous said...

If anyone takes Jonathan Shakey seriouslt, they are just as crazy as he. He was arrested and put in jail for stalking an ex-girlfriend. He skipped out of the state, and got arrested for that. His defense? I never signed anything that said I had to stay in state, geez, I guess all the convicted felons could say that and just walk away from their sentences.

He is a liar, a cheat and a fraud who faked his own death after his last attempt to run for president amounted to massive debts that he could not pay. Then all of a sudden he died, and became...ready for the drum roll... "A Vampyre" Give me a break, the man is crazy.

He does not represent anyone but himself. His supposed half-sister is a figment of his own imagination. His latest marriage to an 18-year-old kid is not legal as last I heard he is still not divorced from his first wife.

His lastest crazy idea, he is going to create a Death-Squad to kill hundreds of people who happen to work for the legal system in Indiana? Just reading his web site is a joke.

While I agree our political system is pathetic at best at the moment, we need real people to run for political office, people who actually have a chance of being taken seriously. Mr. Sharkey is certainly not in that category.

Anonymous said...


Are you too afraid to post your real name? I guess so. If you go to: you will see the STALKING charge was DISMISSED!

Then, Susan Ann Holtsclaw wrote to Federal Judge Sarah Evans Barker telling Barker she (Susan) agreeed with me, that the police reports were not accurate. Susan did this after Barker ordered Susan to appear to answer charges of lying and false imprisonment.

So, I am INNOCENT!!!!! And the Federal Court agreed.

I left the State of IRAQIANA to get away from Susan. I was given an Injunction Against Susan for Domestic Violence (see website).

I was not found guilty of the FELONY ESCAPE charge.

So, stop being a BUSH PUPPET, and writing BS about me.

Thank You Bryan for your Blog.

Happy Holidays to all.

Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey

SecondComingOfBast said...

I will vouch for Jonathon, he did have sex with his half sister, her name is Kat. She herself admitted it on her Yahoo group. This is hilarious, I'm glad I found this.

Hey, Jonathon, if you read this, remember me,you little BEEE-AATCH?

Anonymous said...

You read it in a blog, supposedly Kat's blog, have you ever met Kat in person? Face to face? Jonathon's legal wife said in her blog that Kat did not exist, that there was a half-sister but she died in infancy, I tend to believe her over Jonathon.

Added to the fact that the entire time Jonathon was incarcerated, Kat was no where to be found, she did not return any emails, or posts anywhere, and no one could get in touch with her. Jonathon "claims" Kat is a lawyer, but she is not listed as a board certified lawyer in New Jersey, New York, or any of the surrounding areas where she supposedly lives. The picture that used to be on Jonathon's web site as Kat was actually his daughter (again according to his legal wife).

So did he have sex with Kat? Sure he did, Kat is Jonathon, Jonathon is Kat, best sex he ever had was with himself. Somehow that makes perfect sense.